Monica went on to explain that her 13-year-old daughter had been complaining for some time that she felt that she was in the wrong body. Her daughter had told her mother that she had the body of a girl, but that she had the brain of a boy. “My body doesn’t match my thoughts or feelings, Mom” she had cried. Mary and her husband were overwhelmed with this revelation and could not understand what their daughter was talking about. “We are completely out of our depth”, she wrote in her letter and “desperate to get the right help for our daughter.”

“Can you tell me how my daughter has the body of a girl and thinks and feels like a boy and wants to be a boy? How can this happen?” she wrote. “In my very meagre and limited research, I have found some articles about girls and boys who call themselves transgender, and they say that they were born like that?. Can that be so? Have I done something wrong?. Has something happened to my daughter?.

There were many questions to find answers to and therefore, I prayed to Our Lady for this family, asking for direction in my research as I wanted to obtain the most up to date scientific studies from the world’s leading authorities in embryology, endocrinology (the science of the human glands), and psychology. Our Blessed Mother wove an intricate pathway for me in establishing the facts about gender dysphoria and transgender.

I initially replied assuring Monica that her daughter had been created in the holy image of God, and I suggested to pray the rosary to Our Lady who would lead her to the truth. I also assured her that as soon as I had adequate and satisfactory answers, I would be in touch with her.

I read the human stories from biological boys believing themselves to be a girl and from biological girls believing themselves to be a boy. They had been diagnosed with gender dysphoria, the proper medical term, as they were not transgender at that point. I felt compassion for them because of the distress that accompanies these feelings and beliefs. Gender dysphoria is a real condition for these people and is troubling for numerous reasons; one of them being the high prevalence of psychiatric conditions that may accompany gender dysphoria.

A month later I had gathered all my information and compiled it into a fact sheet with references. The following is what I wrote:

Gender:

• Gender is determined biologically and genetically. Our bodies declare our sex. The biological sex of your baby is something that is not assigned; it is determined at conception by our DNA stamped into every cell of our bodies. Human sexuality is binary, either you have a Y chromosome and develop into a male, or you do not, and develop into a female.

What determines the sex of your baby?:

• We are born with forty-six chromosomes, and two of these are specialised chromosomes called sex chromosomes. Assuming normal development occurs females have two X chromosomes, and males have one X and one Y chromosome.
• Baby sex hormones develop mostly between 7 and 12 weeks. Up until 7 to 8 weeks of pregnancy, both sexes have an identical preliminary set of genitalia that will eventually differentiate to become male or female organs. At around week seven, the Y chromosome signals for the start of testosterone and through a very intricate process changes the tissues in the pelvis into male Since the hormone testosterone is carried by the bloodstream throughout the whole body, a boy’s brain was filled with testosterone for development at that time, hence making it impossible for Monica’s daughter to have a “boy brain”.
• In the case of a baby girl, the ovaries appear around week 11 to week 12, and by about week 20 of pregnancy, a baby girl will have developed 7 million primitive eggs, which will pare down to about 2 million by the time she’s born.

Could there be other causes?

• Numerous psychological factors may be contributing to her gender dysphoria. Through the widespread study of people with gender dysphoria at least 70% of people have mental illness currently or in their lifetime. The most common comorbid mental illnesses include depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder and dissociative disorder.
• Social factors may also be causing gender dysphoria. Clinical evidence showed that for example, if there was a child in the family with special needs that by virtue of his/her illness demanded more of his parent’s attention could be an influencing factor in the development of gender dysphoria.
• A recent programme on gender dysphoria exposed the dramatic rise in young girls presenting with gender dysphoria, and according to the experts, their clinical evidence showed that their dysphoria was predominately influenced by social media.
• Factually most children who suffer from gender dysphoria and who get psychological help, and when allowed go through normal puberty will no longer experience it by the time they become adults.
• It has been scientifically proven that there is no such thing as a transgender gene.

Monica, her husband, daughter in question, and siblings have received psychological help. After many months of counselling with a child psychologist, four influencing factors were identified. 1. During Monica’s third pregnancy, she longed for a boy as did her husband and a girl was born  2. Their fourth child was a boy who naturally attracted everyone’s attention. 3. It was exceedingly difficult for Mary and her husband to accept that father and son developed a special bond to the detriment of child number three. 4. Their third daughter wanted to change her sex to get the same privileges her bother was receiving from parents, grandparents and uncles.

Throughout a year, many changes were made in the family. Both parents started to spend individual time with their four children. Dad took his daughters on individual dinner dates. Evening time consisted of a family meal where every person got to tell their news.  The influence of teenage tv programmes was replaced with family time playing board games and evening expeditions on bicycles. Social media was banned, and when the family were out together, mobile phones were left at home except in the case of the father. Sundays became a day for prayer, lunch invitations and the children enjoyed the company of cousins and friends sleeping over.  In eighteen months the Lord has brought immeasurable healing to this family.

From Our Lady’s message 2^nd October 2017

A family does not need to be a place of suffering and pain, but a place of understanding and tenderness. Families who strive to live according to my Son live in mutual love.